‘Home to the World’…role of family in shaping the life of a transgender … analysing Chitra Mudgal’s Post Box No 203 Nala Sopara in perspective
Madhu Sriwastav, Assistant Professor, Bamanpukur Humayun Kabir College, Bamanpukur, North 24 Parganas, WB
The term transgender is used for those who are neither male nor female. (Herdt 1996) In India they are known by different names in different regions- ‘hijras’, ‘kinnars’, kothi, iravanis. Indian culture has many lore in the ancient epics Ramayana and Mahabharata showing the existence and acceptance of the third gender. The ancient Indian text Kama Sutra also talks about ‘tritiya prakriti’ or ‘third nature’ implying that in nature there are three genders. Tradition allowed transgenders specific roles within the social fabric. These roles underwent changes under the Mughals where they were employed mainly as guards of the courtyard. Under the British puritanic influence, they were marginalized and criminalized as they were classified as criminalised tribes. (Gariyali xiii-xiv) The British did away with such laws but in India even after seventy-five years of independence we are yet to get rid of the prejudices mentally, socially and legally. Article 14 of the Constitution guarantees equality to all in the eyes of law. However, at present transgenders are marginalized, treated unequally, condemned socially, oppressed and exploited with limited scope for employability as they are deprived of educational opportunities.
This paper foregrounds the importance and role of family in the lives of transgenders that come under the LGBTQ group. Chitra Mudgal’s Post Box No.203 Nala Sopara,an epistolary novel, is a fictionalised account of the life of a transgender. Vinod the protagonist is the son of a well to do Gujrati businessman in Nala Sopara. A fourteen-year-old studying in a plush English medium school, the topper in his class, an all-rounder with bright career prospects, is forcefully taken away from his family and compelled to live with a transgender community. As a transgender he is refused a life of dignity just because he is genitally deformed. After five years he reconnects with his mother and she takes a post box in the post office nearby to keep the communication flowing in secret. This is how the novel gets its name.
Vinod had lived a good life till his identity as a transgender overpowered all other aspects and he is reduced to a non-entity. Vinod was born without a penis and his mother was aware of his identity right away. Himself a kid, Vinod playing with his infant brother had asked his mother, “Why don’t I have a penis, ba?” (Sriwastav 7) She made up a story to pacify him, “When a child is born one has to fix a penis made of flour. The nurse forgot to fix yours. We will get yours fixed too.” (Sriwastav 7) His father once took him to a specialist to see if something could be done but there was no remedy. His mother told him to accept himself as he was; there was no need of any comparison with his friends. His parents knew of his deformity but there was no dearth of love, bonding and opportunities for him in the safe space of his family. However, as news of his deformity reached the band of eunuchs, the family failed to protect him and chose their social prestige over everything else.
The first time they arrive, they are fooled by ba, his mother who locks Vinod in the bathroom and brings her younger son Manjul in front of them. “Removing Manjul’s underpants Champa Bai had clearly declared, “These people are toying with us, the boy is older.” (Sriwastav 7) They left with a warning to return again and create a scene in front of the entire building. There was insufferable tension in the family after this. “You pressed me to your bosom, the whole night ba, and sobbed. That night none had dinner except Sejal bhabhi. Mota bhai spent the night twisting and turning on the cane sofa in the drawing room.” (Sriwastav 7) Next day Vinod’s mother discussed plans for putting him into a boarding school so that he would be out of the reach of these eunuchs. His elder brother dissuaded her, “If eunuchs can arrive like spirits after fourteen years can’t they find him out in a hostel? Is there any guarantee? If the word spreads it will bring shame on the family.” (Sriwastav 7)
Vinod’s mother accompanies him to and from school for the next seventeen days, then owing to her sciatica pain she tells her elder son to ask his wife Sejal to go. Mota Bhai refuses on behalf of Sejal and expresses his irritation at such arrangements. His father proposes putting in a medical for fifteen days till they could come up with a solution. Mota bhai gets further irritated so his father proposes discussing the matter with Bhanu mama of Junagarh and put Vinod in a school there. However, Mota bhai’s objections do not end, “The network of the eunuch community is very strong. Another thing…we cannot leave Binni at Junagarh without revealing the fact about him. Now when you tell him the truth, won’t he ask you why we concealed it for such a long time?” (Sriwastav 8) So, here we find that more than the parents it is the elder brother who is worried about the social attitudes and has no concern at all for his brother. In the course of events when the eunuchs arrive the next time, there is a hand-to-hand combat, with Vinod holding on to his mother and they pulling him away, as soon as his mother loosens her fingers a bit Mota bhai grasps him and hands him over to the eunuchs. Later the family sell off the flat at Kalba Devi and shift to a different location at Nala Sopara. His father fabricates a tale and informs his school and neighbours that Vinod had met with an accident and died, there was no trace of the body that fell off a high cliff. Relatives near and far were told a slightly different tale with changes in time and location.
Despite such a betrayal by his family Vinod can’t stop longing for his parents and family. The bonds of family cannot be broken, especially with one’s parents as it develops in the womb. His adolescent mind refused to accept what was thrust upon him, but physical and mental brutality compelled him to bear it though his spirit remained unconquered and his dreams intact. He is full of anger, resentment and sorrow at the betrayal by his own family. “You, my mother, and pappa jointly put me into the hands of butchers, like an innocent goat.” (Sriwastav 5) He detests his father for not making any attempts to save him despite having a friend in the police. His family chose their social prestige over his life. Still, he could not bring himself to hate them.
He asserts his rights as a human being, “… didn’t I have the right to live as a common man?” (Sriwastav 5) He turns suicidal and plans to end his life by jumping off a hill as his father had narrated. Punam’s love and arguments compel him to change his mind. He lives to reclaim his human status and dignity. Punam had discussed his desire to complete his education with MLA Ji as he could help with the paperwork for admission. Vinod meets MLA Ji but refuses to divulge the details of his school. He wants to study with his new identity. The education he has, gives him an edge over others. He gets admission in a computer centre with MLA Ji’s help and learns very fast. He regrets the loss of precious time and laments to ba, “Had I been with you I would have secured my master’s degree by now. I would be contemplating my M.Phil. and then my Ph.D. in mathematics.” (Sriwastav 170) Separation from family led to loss of education for transgenders adding to their miseries.
His mother encourages him to resume studies and says, “You were declared dead, you died for everybody but did you die for me too?” (Sriwastav 64) She is helpless and has limited agency but is suffering equally, “If you can believe me, do believe, that I might not be there with you in the hell you live in, but its lanes traverse through my heart.” (Sriwastav 62) She stopped making his favourite food “the saffron laced shrikhand” (Sriwastav 62) and got it from the market if someone wanted it. She tries to introspect her inability to defend him as a mother, but has no definite answer. She dwells on women’s existence as dependent on the “moods and behaviour of others” (Sriwastav 63-64) but concludes that this is not all because “woman is herself in dilemma. She has her own definition; she is defined by the womb inside of her.” (Sriwastav 64)
Here it is to be recalled that ba is also mother to Mota bhai and Manjul, is bound by her relation and duty to her husband, so, despite her love for Vinod, she couldn’t protect him because her elder son confronts her when she says cannot live without Vinod. She was ready to sell her jewellery to pay for his fees if required for a boarding school but mota bhai didn’t want a mess, neither would he allow his parents to reveal Vinod’s identity to anybody to seek help. His social status was above everything. He taunts his mother when she shed silent tears for Vinod. His self-regard is so high that he declares unabashedly that if he had such a child, he would have killed him even before his birth.
Vinod teaches the alphabets to Chandra and Punam at the thikana (place where the community lives). Chandra is worried when he decides to shift to MLA Ji’s place but Vinod makes arrangements for a tuition teacher to teach in his absence. He sees hope as they are eager to learn. They get very emotional at his departure for he encouraged them to live with dignity, “We, who are considered faulty and unusual, are so ordinary and usual in our sensitivity and emotional insecurities.” (Sriwastav 73) Vinod asserts the humanity of transgenders in their emotional needs for love, companionship and friendship.
Vinod is full of anger but reconnecting with his mother brings back some hope and joy into his life. He gets the motivation to fulfil his mother’s dream of becoming a mathematician. “…since I heard your voice and communication through letters began, I feel the mire of hell is getting dry.” (Sriwastav 66) Even from far he worries about his family, his father’s health, mota bhai, Manjul’s studies and Sejal bhabhi and his would-be nephew. He narrates what all he could have done to make a difference had he been there and gives suggestions to ba on how she can get help and shares her pain. He was very close to his mother and played an active role in helping in the household affairs, massaging his mother’s-tired feet and knuckles till she asked him to stop and blessed him. He released his father from the shop after returning from school, administered his medicines etc. His sense of belonging is revived and he reclaims his right to care for his family.
Aristotle said, “Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual”. (Child line India NP) Reconnecting with his mother gives a release to his pent-up feelings and he is able to deal with his life in a more positive manner. He has something to look forward to, the letters of his mother fill the void in his life, he reads them over and over again and complains and worries if there are delays or the letter is brief. “…I am so incomplete without your love and care.” (Sriwastav 135) He is hungry for news of all his family members and his first crush Jyotsna whom he loved as a teenager and wanted to settle down with.
All his fellow mates have similar stories, Punam was thrown out when she was three years old and has no memory of her family. Vinod helps name her parents and find a place to identify with as her birthplace, as she closely studies her mongoloid features in the mirror and tries to find them, “Tell me my prince, am I still an orphan? Noo? …. I am really stupid, my maa and babu ji are with me all the time!” (Sriwastav 47) Punam’s nostalgic mood over her absent parents, triggers Vinod as she hugs him. He is angry with himself for not being able to drive away the painful memories even in these seven years, “Why can’t I liberate myself from all that which was forcibly taken from me? I have to free myself from this prison, I am struggling ba…” (Sriwastav 49)
Punam revers Sardar and chastises Vinod for criticising him all the time as he has given them shelter and food. But he is not to be fooled for he understands the dynamics that are at work. He paid fifteen rupees to Sardar every month by washing cars but refused to accept their ways. Despite all the verbal and physical abuse and torture he refused to “…walk with an affected feminine gait neither clap ... [his]hands, nor drape saris with sequins and stars and wear lipstick and rings in…[his] ears.” (Sriwastav 3) He continued reading, writing and meditating on Krishna though he was despised for this.
The ‘thikana’ where they lived under Sardar’s tutelage was no alternative for home. A few develop friendly bonds and care for each other. However, it’s a place of forced co-existence and violence and Vinod openly condemns the system and Sardar. “This is a class of people who are hollow and afraid! They feel they must have a confederation to make their presence felt in society even if it be in the peculiar manner in which society sees them. At any cost their power must increase!” (Sriwastav 43) He exposes the age-old politics behind such traditions and condemns them severely, “So, they go about looking for people with genital deformity and by anointment, they want to keep them together by the guru shishya tradition.” (Sriwastav 43)
His employer MLA Ji and his party want to politicise the issue of transgenders and convince Vinod to become their spokesperson. Vinod is in a dilemma but agrees to speak for the cause of greater good. He first of all asserts their identity as human beings with a right to family life. He questions why as human beings they have been “deprived of their mother’s milk.” (Sriwastav 167) He refuses to accept the marginalised and undignified state of transgenders. He argues, “Parents who commit female foeticide are criminals. Parents of genitally deformed who give away their children are no less to blame.” (Sriwastav 162) He appeals to the government to “Make laws, compel guardians, to keep their deformed children of whatever age with themselves…. Prohibit the community. (Sriwastav 168-169) He advocated dignified labour and education to transform their lives and live with dignity.
Vinod’s appeals do not go in vain for his mother makes a will and publishes it in all leading newspapers along with an apology. She seeks forgiveness for giving him away to the eunuchs for his genital deformity out of public shame and begs him to come home and perform her last rites. She fulfils his wish as he wanted some parent to take the lead to include transgenders back in the family. However, Vinod doesn’t live to see her will as he is brutally murdered by Sardar’s men. Vinod becomes the sacrificial goat in the altar of change for opposing the community which was a way of survival for people like Sardar. Politicians and Sardars all want to perpetuate their marginalised status for their own benefits. If the family accepts them as their own it can put an end to all these ploys and put their lives back on track with education as their tool. Through Vinod, Chitra Mudgal tries to sensitise the readers and move them to rethink their attitudes towards transgenders as they are one of us, created by the same God. Transgenders are human beings and need their families. Change will come only when there is acceptance and inclusivity.
Works Cited
Agoramoorthy, Govindasamy, and Minna J. Hsu. “Living on the Societal Edge: India’s Transgender Realities.” Journal of Religion and Health, vol. 54, no. 4, 2015, pp. 1451–59. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/24485502. Accessed 24 Jan. 2024
Dutt, R. C. The Ramayana and Mahabharata. Santa Cruz: Evinity Publishing Inc., 2009
Gariyali, Dr. C.K. and Rajkumar Priyadarshini, Transgender in India Achievers and Survivors An Ode to Transwomen. Saraswati Educational Cultural and Charitable Trust, Chennai, 2021.
Herdt, G. H. Third sex, third gender: Beyond sexual morphism in culture and history New York: Zone Books, 1996.
“Importance of family in a child's life” https://www.childlineindia.org/blog/role-of-family-in-childs-development.html 4 Feb 2021, Accessed 25.01.2024
Sriwastav, Madhu, translator. Post Box No 203 Nala Sopara. By Mudgal Chitra, Sahitya Akademi, New Delhi, 2022